Miceli art review
......art and political journal by Danielle Miceli.
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"The Great Threes!" by Danielle Miceli:
As a guy in the 90s, my view of those new perfumes at Bloomingdale's is, hey, I can buy:
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1. the one in the pink bottle
2. the one in the gold bottle
3. the men's one in the green bottle and hope that they make it in red someday
"Makeup Fans' Mad Libs with Only One Answer" by Danielle Miceli:
The NYX body glitter pen is not the same as the glitter eyeliner as evidenced by BLANK:
ANSWER: the insane burning sensation on my eyelids from the alcohol or something in the formula. Ow!
"The Great Threes!" by Danielle Miceli:
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When observing an energy drink, gay event, or gym ad on the street showing a semi-nude male body, the eye most commonly goes:
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1. to the six pack
2. to see if there is any hair in the guy's pits
3. to his jawline and face to see if he is white or that Spanish guy who yelled at you in the Starbucks
"The Great Threes!" by Danielle Miceli:
As far as Metrocards go, I get confused by:
1. those weird gold ones hidden on subway the ads
2. the white tickets on the floor because I think people might be on a Boardwalk ride at some point down there and are not letting other people know
3. the old people ones
"Computer 'Mad Libs' with only one answer" by Danielle Miceli:
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BLANK is the boring satan of computer logos.
Answer:
LG
"People Lists" by Danielle Miceli
NYC firemen, AKA:
built
over-walked
white
tired
jazzy
ready to put on stuff
white
not too angry yet
relaxed
hose friendly
against Whole Foods
brawny
"I can haz cheezburger?"
Did you hear the one about the Jack Jones version of "Lollipops and Roses" being the retarded, lesbian version of the song?
I did. I wrote that joke myself.
Cultural icon Jo Anne Worley on her triple E breasts:
"I surrendered to the milk man and gave him back his life."
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by Danielle miceli
"Look at that dog! He has spots all over him! He needs a glycolic peel."
Glyco-dog!
"Book of the Day" joke (for theater folks) by Danielle Miceli:
I Have a Stage Laugh and Then I Have a Separate Laugh That I Do In My Real Life
by Ann Crumb
"Book of the Day" joke (for theater folks) by Danielle Miceli:
So, Yeah, I Was Okay When I Started in Phantom and Now I Am Almost Literally That Red-Haired Witch from American Horror Story
by Marilyn Caskey, professional catatonic
"people Lists" by Danielle Miceli:
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Jo Anne Worley, AKA:
game show fattie
humpback whale
Perry's "priority"
Connie Stevens' sin
my sin
your sin
a sin
a waste
your waste
my waste
a vampire
the Kleenex lady
a cool black-haired person
sexy
classy
jazzy
Jazzy Jeff
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
possible hermaphrodite
TV star
classy
sexy if you are over 65
classy
good looking in those psychedelic dresses from that show
"World News" Lists by Danielle Miceli:
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Londontown 2017 is:
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frightened
buckling down
buckling up
clueless
blessedly clueless
producing West End shows as a war front to Broadway bullies
up in arms
grateful for their arms
ready to donate money to me
clueless
not sure about that fat woman, Jo Marie
classy
sassy
classy
sassy
living in a grey and overcast place
excited about Miss Selfridge's
counting on Liberty department store
where My Fair Lady took/takes place
"The Great Threes!" by Danielle Miceli:
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When I'm lonely on Facebook because I dissed my old friends even though they are still on my friends list, I:
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1. look at my chat list for men who look lonely
2. reconsider opening that pastry shop with that weird kid from the comedy group
3. hate at my 6th grade English teacher who is, like, the only person I still know on here
"People Lists" by Danielle Miceli:
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Chevy Chase, AKA:
divided
tan
ghost man
fun
a dad
maybe I'll just give roses
rehab?
that's your wife?
Clark W. Griswold
Jayne Meadows' friend
Jayne Meadows
tan
surprisingly tall
.....people think he's good looking?
"'New York' Mad Libs with Only One Answer" by Danielle Miceli:
The Citipups locations have recently BLANK:
ANSWER:
acquired doggies that are cuter than puppies in former years to stave off ISIS.
Anyone marrying someone who they should not should do it at The Calhoun School because the glass front looks like the church in The Graduate. But, they should make sure they find people to growl openly in the windows.
"Real Estate Brokers' Pet Fears Forum" discusses:
walking near a moldy stucco townhouse
"Real Estate Brokers' Pet Fears Forum" discusses:
those tea cups and other random china items left on a side table
"'World News' Mad Libs with Only One Answer" by Danielle Miceli:
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NYC is BLANK because of my shmoed-out problem that nobody has fixed yet.
Answer:
way too quiet.
"Real Estate Brokers' Pet Fears Forum" discusses:
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traffic cops on the way to showing an apartment in New York City
"Real Estate Brokers' Pet Fears Forum" discusses:
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clients with overly colorful shoes
"Real Estate Brokers' Pet Fears Forum" Discusses:
Salespersons who have slipped and fell in their pumps on those slippery steel planks that cover holes in the ground
"If You Ask" Shirley MacLaine, She Will Not:
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Do you a favor
Talk to you about what you are asking unless you pimp yourself out to her fledgling brother, Warren Beatty (not Ned Beatty)
Lick you
"if You Ask" Betty Buckley, Alice Ripley is NOT:
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Lada Boder
Meredith Braun
Elizabeth Mills
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It's Bob Preston, giocks. All the way up!