Homeless Tips for a White Girl in NYC (But, Please, Don't Have to Use Them)

Hi. I am still homeless. Cabaret singers are still to blame as are the gaming NYPD and the Broadway bunnies of 1997 and, apparently, Betty Buckley. Anyway, here are some tips for a white, upper middle class girl who may find herself thrown into the subways.

First, don't do laundry if you don't have money. It is heavy to lug around and you don't want to peddle. Buy or steal (it can be dangerous to do this) cotton leggings or yoga pants and one of those drugstore 3 packs of cotton underwear and you are clean for like 4 days. Pantyliners help with that. Also, use trial size deodorants and other toiletries and shower at a cheap gym, not the homeless centers (they are reverse racist and abusive). Try not to steal food, but I don't recommend the food pantries for more than once or twice (limited flavors). Food stamps help, but if you don't have an address or phone, you will miss the renewal letter or call and you will be stressed out to have to apply again because most of the people at those places are not like you. So, maybe get them once and then try to figure something else out.

I had never stolen in my life, but stealing Diet Coke if you need it is much easier than dying of caffeine withdrawal since, "Hey. You could have that Diet Coke in your bag anyway." That's my quote of my own view. Friends are the best people from whom to request shelter or money or start a Go Fund Me. Street people are mostly black men or minorities who are not your best bedside companions and should be avoided. If your friends or acquaintances do not help, hang in there (that's what I am doing) and wait for appropriate accommodations if you cannot work. If you can, it will get you out of the gutter. I count on this blog to get me the attention I need, but I am still waiting. I post on Facebook and Twitter, but my situation is very specific and there are conspiracies against me and I am a victim of a certain kind so you may have more luck or quicker luck getting on your feet. Peddling is not really that hard, but it is degrading and I have kept it to a minimum.